another post

ah, summer break has started
and yes, my gpa fell and i still have to send out stuffs to RISD
oh, to people who haven't noticed, i am not going to parsons
as i have planned. and yes, it is my dream school but right now
im not sure if i am ready for fashion design. so im going to this
art school in Rhode Island its called Rhode Island School of Design
its the number one school for art school. better than Yale University
(at least thats what i heard) still don't know why they accepted me
and i still do feel like i don't deserve this, but why i am very thankful
that i did get accepted! there are many reasons why i changed my plans
and it was definitely a hard decision because it is more far away from
Seattle...i mean New York is also far away from Seattle but closer than
Rhode Island..(yes, im seeing K again..to let you guys know..im in a
"friends for benefit" stage with him haha LOL)

anyhow second, i wanted to experience an urban life since i am from a small place
and thats one of the reasons why i was planning to go to New York but
my plans have changed....im stuck in this quiet (at least quiet-er than New York right?) place..not that i hate quiet places..its just that i wanted to experience
something new and exciting but i guess not.
at least new york is 45 minutes away. i can visit ?

to tell you the truth i have many plans this summer..
first i am planning to visit K around septemberish or august...
which one, either way..
the important part: (shhhh...its a secret)
without telling my parents that i am visiting...
although my parents do know that we did see each other like 1 year ago
(since i told my dad after the break-up) but i didn't tell them recently
that i have been seeing him again..(this time long-distance. Sorry dad about the cell-phone bills..i was too lazy to buy a card..haha LOL i hope you notice the phone bills after i leave to Korea..plz)
anyhow....so my parents totally don't know that we are seeing each other agian..
and it is a total crime for me to change the ticket to Rhode Island to Seattle
im not gonna live there, but maybe a one week visit before school starts.
and its really secretive and risky..cuz im not sure how im gonna do this but
it is definitely gonna happen.....LOL
i don't even know where this courage came from but i miss him so much
from the 1 year apart period.

around June-July im going to be at Korea..probably taking art classes
with my brother in the same portfolio academy i spent almost all my precious break..
don't worry, its not gonna be that massive like before.. only 3 times a week..
mann compared to before thats little!
then, im probably gonna take yoga classes or any exercise so that i can shed some pounds that i gained from all the finals.....
im also gonna club alot and see friends that i haven't been hanging out due to too much school events and work...

am i excited? yah..if only i dont fail mr. wicksman's EN 202 class.
shit i chose the wrong teacher..i think..
this is bullshit..but i hope and pray i do pass his class.......hahahah

i know, im back

finals are finally over by tomorrow for me,
and yes, i am very excited.
for the past few 3 weeks i have been sleeping less amount of time
i slept like at 3 am morning everyday.

im finally over highschool.
i have so waited for this freedom
one step of becoming a complete, mature human being
there are at times when i miss being childish, and immature
but at times it is really tiring
when i see people who just can't grow up and do things
that are only for grade school kids.
hey, but what can you say, huh? that's just the way some people are.
they mature late and i don't blame them for that
but it is at times ridiculous to see a physically grown up person
act like a 1 year old.

in a short period of time, i have grown up so much
the way i think, the way i treat others,
and whenever i think about others before me
i feel like i did grown so much
i still have a selfish side in me but im slowly getting rid of it.
after all,
if i think about it, a true friend and a family is someone who
can be there for me when i really needed them. people who can actually
accept you the way you are. without the fakeness and the public image

when i stretched my arms for help,
the people who are the "true" friends are always ready to embrace
the brittle, fragile, breakable soul and help me become a better person
they will love the way i am and i would in return.

at times i do lack people like that
but i am thankful that i at least have some.
because there are some people who don't have anyone who they can trust
although it is not safe to trust a human being 100%
we tend to do it still

new environment, new people, and new me.
i might not make friends right away and i am not that good with
making new friends but i can definitely be someone who can be there
when someone really needs me.
i might not be the best friend but i can be a truthful, honest, benign friend

just show me that you are not fake and i'll show you me
in like non-stop.
i may hurt you by my harsh, truthful critiques
but hey, it's all for your own good
so don't take it personally.

sorry, im just excited for another journey of my life
Rhode Island here i come :^)