Trying to survive my SENIOR YEAR

Stress. Stress and MORE STRESS
I thought that senior year was suppose to be a fun year
This is not what i have expected to be

During my freshman year I couldn't wait until I turned senior
I was looking foward to my senior year.
I saw all my upper class onni and oppa's all enjoying their senior year.
They seemed like they didn't have any problems. but everythings a PROBLEM.

Urgh. I think the Mina Curse is actually working.
Not to all of us but to some of us like Vianka, Wen, Debra, Jae Hee, me..etc
I've realized that I have been more bitchy now-a-days...
I also gained 3 kilograms...

These days I am not even sure if I want to go to college...cuz recently my "portfolio teacher" just criticized me with my writing skill..how "cliche" all my recent essays were for personal essay part.....I don't even want to go to UCLA..and I don't even see why I need to stress out like this. I mean I would feel great if I did get accepted to UCLA..but I already know that I won't..because
my SAT scores are not that high and also I don't have an outstanding extracurricular activities like Debra...COME ON...why try if you already know what's going to happend rite?
I can't believe I'm stessing on something that I do not have to stress about...

I miss Ayaka so much.. I actually miss my Jr year..
We had so much fun.. (although I missed out a lot) I really had fun.
it was one of the memories that I will never want to forget.
My first love, the wonderful memories with the GREAT SENIORS Ayaka, Mina, Seung Hwan..
I wonder what they are doing rite now....

I still cant believe Im a senior..I still feel like and act like a freshman..
obnoxious, stupid, wild..etc...
i don't want to grow old.....
If i grow old, then im going to miss all the drama, gossips, and the crazy stuffs
I can't do crazy things just because of the fact that Im a teenager ..cuz I ain't gonna be one soon...WTF
I feel like I grew up so fast....physically..
I still feel like Im a kid mentally...(doesn't mean I'm childish.....well sorta..)
I dunno...jus confused..and more confused about my life....the future and more

The more I live my life..I feel like friendship is not everything...
the people that I once trusted are nolonger trusted.
the people that I thought were my friends turned out not...
it's just dissapointing everytime I realize this...
the fact that I am alone just drives me crazy...
I know that ...I've known that...but I never wanted to admitt it...
Shit....This is just crappy..

If only I had the power to retrospect back to 8 months ago....
If only.....