Don't get it

I sometimes don't get myself.
I know that I am making the worst decision of all but right now
it seems like the best decision. I hope I don't mess up today
Shit.....this revenge thing is not working as I have predicted.
Where the hell is all my confidence that I brought with me from Saipan?
I was so ready for it but now it seems like I'm gonna lose again for sure
I have been making plans for months for this to happen but now that
it might happen...it's giving me the shitty feeling...the butterfly effect

I know don't have the Feaud look on.
I'm not a psycho as you think I am
I'm so frustrated....I don't even know


recently I have realized that I look like a "country girl" in Korea
I mean I wear the same clothes and yet
I still look like a Saipanese that doesn't fit in
Maybe I'm paranoid but it really feels like it
Urgh...since my computer in Korea doesn't have speakers
(it did..but after when my cousin toached it, it didn't work..WTF)
I can't watch my favorite show in Youtube..
this addcition is greater than cigs....
I'm trying hard to quite but I don't know why..I just can't
shit....before coming to Korea I smoked 15..or something in the party
then after that the day I came to Korea I met up with my friend
and smoked 3.............so it seems like a long journey to me...quitting..
but don't worry..I am GOING to quite..I'm just not working harder...




my friend showed me this movie..and it was hilarious
4th dimensional movie..everyone cannot get it
Its about this couple who loved each other so much
but the guy has OCD and when he sharpened all his pencil in a certain way
it was funny..XD (well..at least to me)
anyhow the girl I guess gets tired oh his OCD-ness and the guy has
hard time appologizing to the girl and she gets ticked off whenever
he doesn't appologize....anyhow..
when they were splitting apart after divorce, they exactly split everything
they own. like for example, if they own a picture they took together,
the guy would cut the picture exactly into half and give it to the girl
...(OCD people are weird..)

and she was like " you just cut my heart into pieces when you did that.."
or something like that....
then they split and then the guy goes crazy cuz he gave his clock to the girl
and tries to get it back but the girl won't give it to him...
anyhow..it was a weird movie but I enjoyed it.....there are some things
that I cannot describe cuz the Korean slangs and stuff..but
there were some parts where all the people in the theater laughed about
but I thought it wasn't that funny at all...

Well anywayz...
Ah....today will be another hectic day
wait for my another post everyone!!