Just about to end

Just as Wen told me.. I have totally lost the interest to apply to other places

I know for sure I have to work on my FIT essays..but don't want to...URGH..

I know..it's kinda weird how I'm stressing about college...so young..LOL

Anyhow..I just have 5 more days till I go to Korea..

Am I happy? nope...not at all..

I'm sure it'll be great but just not in the mood

for a winter vacation/working busy days

I'm thinking meeting a therapist and refresh

my mind..because I have been

having issues....you can just tell by my recent blogs

I know for sure that this craziness will end soon..

but I just can't take it anymore

I had this weird dream where I asked Mr. Kodep if he sent out my

transcripts and he said, "No, I didn't" and I started to freak out

and woke up at 6:40A.M. WTF...now I'm having nightmares....

......anyhow..I'm guessing it's not only me who's going through this

and I'm sure I am over reacting since

I have already got one acceptance letter

but I just want something much more better.

Going to California might be great beacuse

I have friends and far relatives

It's better than going to a place where I don't know anyone..but

at the same time I just want to explore more

that's all. I want to live my life without anyone's help.

I just want to live on my own.

Try new things out...and things like that..

Me and Eun Ji have been joking around about my sexuality..

Since it's is really really getting off limit

she was like,

like who doesn't get over in a long period of time such as 6 months...

I know ..I know.. yes, it takes awhile for me to get over someone

she told me to look around and find a new person

It's not like I didn't try.. I just could find anyone..and also

I totally lost interest in men..

I don't feel anything anymore..so I was guessing if I was turning

"Bi (sexual)" :P

So, jokingly I was like (to Eun Ji)

"I think I'm turning Bi.."

and she wasn't even suprised........WTF..

I have been missing this girl lately that I went to her

cyworld couple of times and looked through

all the pictures..this past few weeks

I miss her so much.. and I guess I miss her more

because she was a senior just last March..when that happened..

I mean going through Senior year...It must have been really hard for her

since she had no family here and had problems with her best friend..

I should have hanged out more with her .....now its too late I know...

Sigh..I MISS HER SO MUCH <3

Sometimes I just want to go where she is at..

but that's only sometimes..

R.I.P My dear love Jinah